The Beautiful Differences Between Men and Women in Love

Celebrating the complementary beauty of masculine and feminine love

A couple’s therapist once asked me what I loved about my partner. It was supposed to be a simple exercise—an exchange of compliments meant to rekindle a connection. When it was his turn to answer, he started with, “Well, you’re pretty. You dress well.” I won’t lie—hearing that felt like a letdown. It gave very Swan Princess energy. “What else is there?” I thought, trying not to roll my eyes. But then he surprised me. He said something that stopped me in my tracks: “I love that you’re so loved by your friends. That’s not something you can buy—it’s something you earn.”

That struck me. It wasn’t about me being his girlfriend or how I made him feel—it was something bigger, something uniquely mine. Then he went on to add how I’m kind, loving, and sweet, and I softened.

But then it was my turn, and as I listed what I loved about him—how he listens, how he takes care of me, how he always tries to solve problems—I noticed his expression shift. When the therapist chimed in, “You two admire each other. That’s why this works,” he seemed relieved.

And that’s when it hit me.

I hadn’t said things I admired about him—I said things I loved. And to him, that wasn’t enough. In his eyes, you shouldn’t love someone just for what they give you. Love, to him, had to go beyond that.

At first, I didn’t understand the distinction. But later, it started to make sense. Admiration is about seeing someone for who they are—their essence, their drive, their character—without it being tied to how they make you feel. And that was the moment I realized: I hadn’t told him what I admired about him.

So I went back, in my head, and thought about it. Because admiration and love, I now know, go hand in hand.

The Things I Admire About Him

The truth is, the list of what I admire about him is endless.

I admire his intelligence. He is, without a doubt, one of the smartest men I’ve ever met. His mind is sharp, analytical, and always curious. I’ve met accomplished men in my life—men with Ivy League degrees, titles, and accolades—but his brilliance stands out. It’s not just what he knows; it’s how he thinks, how he approaches the world with a sense of wonder and logic.

I admire his leadership. He is a natural leader, but not the aggressive or domineering kind. He leads with kindness, thoughtfulness, and integrity. He has never led anyone into harm’s way. Instead, he inspires others, including me, to be better, to reach higher, to believe in ourselves.

I admire his ambition. He doesn’t just dream—he builds. He takes action to create the life he envisions, chasing success with purpose and drive. So many people have dreams, but very few have the courage and discipline to turn those dreams into reality.

I admire his compassion. He cares deeply about other people’s struggles. One time, he saw the price of a trendy tumbler and was appalled—not because of the cost itself, but because he couldn’t fathom someone spending hours’ worth of their wages on something so frivolous. That level of empathy and awareness, especially from someone with privilege, is so rare.

I admire his values. He wants to honor his grandparents and his parents by building a legacy that would make them proud. That kind of reverence for family, for history, is something I deeply respect.

I admire how he treats women. In a world where misogyny feels louder than ever, he chooses to see women as equals, as partners, as people worthy of dignity and respect. He doesn’t hate or hurt women—and while that might sound like a bare minimum standard, in today’s war of the sexes, it’s a rare and beautiful thing.

I admire his faith. He tries to be a good son of God, to live by his word and principles. And even though we all fall short sometimes, the effort he puts into being honorable is something I will always hold dear.

And yes, I admire the little things, too. He’s handsome, he dresses well, he has the kind of charisma that lights up a room. But those things are just the icing on the cake. The real substance lies in who he is at his core: a kind, intelligent, and driven man with a heart big enough to change the world around him.

The Dynamic Between Men and Women

After that session, I started paying more attention to how men and women talk about love. It’s fascinating how our experiences differ. Women often describe the way someone makes them feel: safe, seen, cherished. Men, on the other hand, tend to list actions: “She cooks for me. She takes care of the kids.”

At first glance, that kind of praise can feel reductive—shouldn’t a husband also cook? Shouldn’t he care for the kids just as much? But the more I thought about it, the more I realized these responses speak to something deeper. Men and women experience love differently because we live different lives.

For women, who have spent centuries expected to serve, the act of being taken care of feels revolutionary. When a man gives instead of takes, when he offers security or vulnerability or presence, it fills a space we didn’t realize was empty.

For men, raised in a world that often punishes them for softness, the nurturing love of a woman feels like home. When someone cooks for them, eases their mind, or shows them affection, it’s a love they can trust.

Loving the Mystery

Love is an act of faith. It’s trusting someone who’s different from you, someone who processes life in ways you might not understand. That’s why the beauty of love isn’t just in what we share, but in how we embrace the differences. Imagine if we were designed to only love ourselves. The world wouldn’t work. Love is the bridge between “you” and “me,” the magical moment when the unfamiliar becomes cherished.

And while the modern world has given us a million reasons to distrust love—to see it as selfish or transactional—it’s worth remembering that love is, at its core, an act of service. Not servitude, but service. Loving someone means showing up for them in the way they need, not just the way that’s easiest for you. It means asking, “What fills your cup?” and then pouring into it—not because you expect something in return, but because you’ve built something together that’s worth nourishing.

So, if you’re reading this, take a moment to think about the love in your life. What do you admire about the people you love? What do they admire about you? And are you bringing enough to the table—or are you expecting them to carry the feast alone? Because love isn’t about taking. It’s about giving, sharing, and celebrating what makes you both unique. And sometimes, it’s about loving the mystery, the parts of someone you’ll never fully understand but cherish anyway.

That’s what makes love so damn beautiful.